I think the men who are loved by feminists are lucky. Here’s how they qualify to join this fortunate club.

Men We Love understand that, no matter how similar our backgrounds, we are engaged in a cross cultural … relationship. They know that we know much about their world and they but little of ours. They accept what white people must accept in relationships with people of other ethnicities: to know that they do not know.

Men We Love don’t hold a baby as if it is a still-squirming, unidentifiable catch from the sea.

Men We Love don’t tell women what to feel about sexism… . They do not presume that there is a line in the sand called ‘enlightened male,’ and that all they need is a paperback copy of Djuna Barnes and good digital technique. They understand that unlearning gender oppressiveness means untying the very core of how we become female and male. They know this pursuit takes a lifetime at the minimum.